The Tomboy All Grown Up

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Yup, I was a tomboy when I was a girl. In the land of princesses and Barbie dream houses, I was the one playing tether ball and running around the playground. Looking at me now you wouldn’t know it, but I loved playing sports and playing outside…at least until Junior High happened…

I was raised by my father and some may attribute my tomboyishness to that one fact. But the truth is, I never liked girly stuff. I hated wearing dresses and skirts because I couldn’t run around. If I’m going to wear shorts under my dress in order to play on the jungle gym, why can’t I wear just the shorts? I got dirty and messy. Scrapes, bumps, and bruises were just a part of the day. Bike riding, roller skating, and kickball were what made the world go round, and I loved it.

Things that were pink or purple were not allowed in my room. Anything with ribbons, forget it. Someone bought me a Barbie when I was in elementary school; I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with her. So I cut off her hair. I received a Barbie Corvette one year for my birthday and I spent that first week rolling the car down the hallway in our house & watching gleefully as it kept crashing into the wall.

As I grew out of childhood, some of my tomboy tendencies began to fade. Apparently around 13 or so, you are no longer allowed to play sports with boys. You are now supposed to giggle and blush at even the most mundane things that they say. Tetherball gave way to talking on the phone for hours on end. And roller skating was no longer to be done outside but at the local roller rink where you met up with your friends to…yes, that’s right. Giggle and blush at the boys.

Now that I am a mom to a young daughter, I wonder what kinds of things will she be interested in. Dinosaurs or Barbies? Maybe both? Will I be throwing princess-themed birthday parties? I know she’s not even 2 yet but already I see glimpses of a young me. She doesn’t like dolls or stuffed animals. She loves books, building blocks, and puzzles. She hates when you try to put a barrette in her hair and the few times I have tried to put her in a dress, it was a losing battle.

I believe my not-so-girly childhood has served me well in my adult life. I didn’t like the mall then and I don’t like it now. Sure I like nice clothes and what girl doesn’t like the M.A.C. counter, but the thought of setting foot in an actual mall gives me anxiety. Playing outdoor activities has fueled my love of sports and to this day I still watch football and hockey, rooting on my favorite teams. My Hubby often jokes about the fact that when the game is on, we never have to fight over the remote. And playing sports also taught me that sometimes you have to play with people you don’t like. As an adult, this translates into “being a team player”, the cornerstone of many a corporate jargon.

Yes, the tomboy has transitioned to an adult woman. But if you want to play a round of kickball, you just let me know.

**** Sidenote: I wrote this post originally on my old blog 5 years ago. My daughter is now 7 years old and still loves books, building blocks, and puzzles. However, dolls have made their way into the house  😉 Elsa and Anna from the movie Frozen and of course Wonder Woman, because helloooooo, it’s Wonder Woman!!! She likes playing dress-up but if given the option, she would rather play outside instead  🙂

So, I Have Some News To Share…

Yesterday, I shared on Instagram my big news…

I’m pregnant!!!  🙂

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Yup, we have a new addition to our family coming later on this year! Can I tell you, my daughter is simply OVER THE MOON that she is going to be a big sister! She is super excited. She is also wise. I asked her if she will help with the baby’s poopie diapers and her response was, “No. I am not doing the poopie diapers. Daddy can do those. I will handle the clean ones”.  😀  Lol…

In terms of how I am feeling, I am feeling better than a couple of months ago when morning sickness slammed me and wouldn’t let up. I don’t think I ever thrown up so much in my life. (Sorry if that is too much info, but it is the truth!) The morning sickness was definitely worse this time around than with my daughter. Maybe because of my age or who knows, but I am oh so thankful that me and the porcelain throne are no longer on intimate terms 😉

I am currently in my 5th month and plugging along  I have already been through the “ice cream craving” phase. Cookies ‘n cream if you are interested 🙂  What I have a complete aversion to is garlic. I can’t eat it. I can’t smell it. I can’t even be around it. No garlic, absolutely zilch. Which sucks because I do like it, just the baby can’t seem to stand it. So that means no hummus, no pizza, no Italian food of any kind, etc… (Waaaaaaaahhhhh…..)

But Mexican food has been my jam! Thankful for living in Southern California where it is indeed plentiful and my cravings can be satisfied 🙂

So excited to share my news with you all!

Justifications Concerning Money

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My lovely friend Tanya is celebrating a birthday this week and had a post about reflections on life and what she has learned now that she is a year older. One of the reflections she noted, I absolutely loved and want to talk about in more detail.

This is what she said:

“I like shoes. I like purses. I like clothes. I like spas. This does not make me a bad person or a frivolous spender. It means I know where I like to spend my discretionary money, which does not need your approval”.

Boom.

This particular reflection of Tanya’s really stood out to me because I feel as women, we constantly feel the need to justify our lives and what we do with them. We are constantly having to defend our decisions and why we made them.

For example, decisions that always need explanations even though they are nobody’s business:

  • Having children. “Why don’t you have kids? Don’t you want them?”
  • Marriage. “Why aren’t you married? Don’t you want to settle down with someone?”
  • Childrearing: “If I were you, I would stay home with my children. I wouldn’t be working”.
  • Money: “Why do you spend your money on things like that?”

Women get asked these questions and so much more and we end up on the defensive, trying to articulate why we made our particular decision.

The money angle though, is what I want to focus on because I feel like in the blogosphere, this is a hot topic.

Personal finance blogs talk constantly about saving your money, being frugal, and don’t frivolously spend. “Stay home and cook dinner! Don’t eat out…ever!” “Don’t turn on the heater in the winter! Wear four sweaters at a time and cuddle under a blanket! If your fingers go numb, just sit on them! They’ll warm up in a minute!”

I jest, but you get the picture. Finances are important. Paying down debt is important. Having a savings account is important.

But so is having a life.

We are actually meant to live our lives and not sacrifice small moments of happiness in the name of frugality. I don’t mean go and spend all the money, but if fresh flowers on your kitchen table make you happy, that is OKAY. You don’t need to justify that $3.99 bouquet of flowers you picked up at Trader Joe’s.

When it comes to the topic of Minimalism, people operate under the assumption that stark white walls are the way to go. No couch, just a cushion to sit on. No art on the walls. No pets, because that is not very minimalist of you!

That is all nonsense.

You can call yourself a minimalist and still enjoy paintings by local artists on your walls. It is okay that you own a pet and gasp! they require dishes and food and other accoutrements. It is okay if you like colors and your wardrobe isn’t all monochrome.

My point is, we are wired as human beings to enjoy life and you don’t have to justify how you spend your money. You like shoes, fine. You like taking a ballroom dance class twice a week, fine. You like channeling your inner Julia Child and like to bake up tasty treats on the weekend, fine.

It is all okay.

Don’t let anyone ever make you feel guilty for the choices you make in life. No more justifying.

No more defending.

My Own Packing Party

So y’all know (or most of you I should say), know I am a huge fan of The Minimalists. Their podcasts continue to inspire me to make room for the things that matter by getting rid of what doesn’t.

That being said, when Joshua and Ryan (The Minimalists) were downsizing their respective homes and getting rid of what no longer served them, they both did it in radically different ways. Joshua chose the decluttering method and it took him about 8 months to pare down his belongings to what was essential to him. Ryan on the other hand? He had a packing party.

What is a packing party, you ask? Basically you pack up everything you own, absolutely everything, into boxes. This includes your toothbrush, deodorant, coffee mug, your bath towel, etc… Everything goes into boxes. And then, you only unpack what you need. Only. What. You. Need.

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So yeah, that first day you’ll probably need that toothbrush, deodorant, towel, and clothes to wear to work. Maybe after you get home, you unpack a skillet and some cooking utensils and a plate and a fork. Whatever you NEED, you unpack. That’s it.

When Ryan did his packing party, he did it for 21 days. He only unpacked what he needed. And you know what? At the end of 21 days, 80% of his stuff was still in boxes. He said that he couldn’t even remember what was in those unopened boxes.

And you know what he did? He donated and/or sold what was in all those boxes that contained 80% of his stuff. Donated it. Sold it. Gone. Buh-bye.

I bring up this story of the packing party not just because I find value in it, but because it inspired me to do my own version of a packing party.

I am moving quite soon into a bigger apartment. I am currently living in 530 square feet with my husband, daughter, and cat and our accompanying accoutrements. We are a close family and living in a small space has been fine. Or rather, had been fine. We are moving into a slightly bigger apartment, just an extra 150 square feet or so, but this new apartment will have a bigger living room and a bigger bathroom which is really what we are looking for.

As I stated above, we are an extremely close family and enjoy spending time together. Some extra square feet in the living room actually gives us a bit of breathing room and gives my daughter more space to play. And a bigger bathroom, well, I don’t think I need to explain why that is a plus  🙂

But back to the packing party…

We are boxing up our belongings dutifully, but when we arrive at our new apartment, I will only be unpacking what is needed. Now although Ryan in his example boxed up absolutely everything, I am not boxing up my purse, or my child’s school lunch box, or anything like that. But the items that are being housed in cardboard boxes, are not just going to be immediately unloaded and dumped on the carpet to then scramble to find a home for. I want to be deliberate with what we have and what we actually use, and not just hold onto something because we always have.

I too, am going to give the experiment 21 days, as did Ryan, and whatever has not been unloaded by the 21st day, will be banished to either be donated or sold. I figure since we are moving, now is as good time as any to do this.

Are you guys interested in doing your own packing party as well? What do you think of it all? Let me know in the comments!  🙂

 

Find The Words To Help You Find Your Way

As most of you know, I am a huge bookworm. I am also a fan of quotes and the accompanying verbiage that motivates. Let’s face it: life is hard. We are all swimming in the same ocean trying to avoid the eventual tidal wave that comes our way and knocks us off our feet for awhile. Once that proverbial tidal wave recedes, we remember that we can swim, and we paddle out into the ocean once again.

If you happen to be in the midst of a tidal wave and you are looking for some help, here are some books that I think are awesome and may help you get the earth back under your feet  🙂

Minimalism: Live a Meaningful Life by The Minimalists

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If your life is spinning out of control and you feel overwhelmed by the clutter in not just your life, but your mind, this book is for you. And don’t worry, it is not a book that tells you to get rid of everything you own and sleep on the floor! But it will help you sort out the values that you feel are important and make adjustments accordingly.

Yoga Girl by Rachel Brathen

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If you are looking to get healthier, look no further than this book. For the record, I cannot do a handstand to save my life, nor does Rachel make you try to do one. This story gives voice to Rachel’s story about how yoga saved her from a life that was on a complete downward spiral. She shares simple yoga poses, meditation practices, and some super healthy recipes to get you going on your way!

Essentialism by Greg McKeown

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This book. I loooooved this book! For a complete review of my love of this tome, and why I think EVERYONE needs to read it, click here.

10% Happier by Dan Harris

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Amazing book. If anxiety is getting the best of you and you’ve heard about meditation and aren’t sure what exactly it’s all about, check out Dan’s book. He is a broadcaster for ABC who had a panic attack on national television and this is his story about how meditation helped him.

Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst

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This book, just wow. Lysa writes about how broken we can feel and get as women and how we can overcome that. Although Lysa does have bible verses sprinkled throughout, please don’t let it deter you if that’s not your thing. This book will break open your heart and put it right back together again. In a good way 🙂

Everything That Remains by The Minimalists

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I know I have two books listed here by The Minimalists but this one is my absolute favorite! It basically chronicles how Joshua hit rock bottom in his life (his mom died and his marriage ended in the same month), and with the help of the concept of minimalism, he shed which didn’t matter in his life and began to focus on his relationships and what was actually important. In turn, his best friend Ryan saw how changed Joshua’s life was and embraced lifestyle changes of his own. Want to know how The Minimalists became The Minimalists? Read this book. Some life-changing stuff here that you can totally apply to your own life.

Are there any books that you have read that you feel have helped you overcame obstacles in your life? Let me know in the comments!  🙂

Currently: The Birthday Edition

Hey guys, Happy May! 🙂 High temperature weather has arrived with a gusto this week, as it has been super warm here in SoCal. I am sitting here in shorts as I type this, lol  🙂

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I finished “Better Than New” by Nicole Curtis, who has that show Rehab Addict where she restores old houses on HGTV and the DIY network. I have watched Nicole’s show for years and am a huge fan, so I couldn’t wait to read this book about all the behind-the-scene stuff regarding her show, and also just learning more about Nicole. If you are a fan of the show, definitely check out her book!

I have been watching a lot of playoff hockey. My team is the Anaheim Ducks and I am a huuuuuuge fan, and we are currently in the 2nd round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. My cat sometimes doesn’t understand how important it is to watch these games as evidenced by his indifference at blocking the television set  🙂

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It is also my birthday on Friday! In case you are wondering how old I will be turning, I will give you a hint: Star Wars and Saturday Night Fever came out in movie theaters the year I was born  😉 I am totally fine with turning this particular age (if you aren’t living, you’re dying, as they say…), I am just not ready to write or type the number quite yet. I am still wrapping my head around the dichotomy of feeling one particular age in your head, but your chronological age is totally something different. You know what I mean?  🙂

Hope everyone has a great week!

And GO DUCKS!!!!

I Remember

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I remember this day… this day four years ago, like it was yesterday.

I remember being stuck at work in meeting after meeting.

I remember finally getting a break and checking my phone for messages.

I remember hearing a voicemail from my dad, not liking what I heard in his voice.

I remember calling him back and hearing him tell me the inevitable: my grandmother had died… and my whole world shifted.

I remember trying to keep my composure at work, but failing miserably.

I remember telling my co-worker, I had to leave because of an emergency. I gripped the steering wheel the entire way home, vaguely aware that the brake pedal had been applied, and I was now sitting in my garage.

I remember my husband, then fiancée, holding me as my body was racked with uncontrollable sobbing.

I remember the funeral, but not the days in between. It’s all a blur, still.

I remember how many people came to say good-bye and I was moved to tears again, by how many lives you touched Grandma, with your grace and quiet humility.

I remember trying to be strong for my dad.

I remember coming back home after the funeral and collapsing on the kitchen floor, because the tears would not subside.

They say time heals all wounds, but that is a lie. My wounds are still open, raw, and full of salt.

I remember all the time.

It’s been four years and all it takes is hearing a certain word or seeing your picture and I sob incoherently for minutes on end.

It still hurts and I don’t forget.

I remember you being an instrumental part of my childhood, the mother I didn’t have, the female figure to aspire to.

I remember you being one with your faith and instilling that faith into me.

I hate the fact that you never got to hold your great-granddaughter, but I know you see her. And see that her smile, is your smile.

I don’t forget, and on days like today and your birthday, the awareness that you are really gone, is even more heightened.

I miss you Grandma and I cry as I write this. You live on through my father, through me, and through my daughter.

I will always remember…

**Sidenote: I wrote this post originally on my old blog 5 years ago. It has now been 9 years since my grandma passed away and I still miss her more than ever. I love you, my sweet guardian angel

 

March in the Rearview

The month of March went by with a whoosh, right? Whew…  🙂

A quick look back:

What I enjoyed this month: Reading, obviously! But also trips to see my beloved ocean and coffee dates with friends  🙂

Huntington Beach is my favorite local beach and it makes me feel all the feelings when I am there!

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I read Talking As Fast As I Can by Lauren Graham which I looooved!! If you are a Gilmore Girls fan, than this book is for you! Lauren talks about her life and of course, behind the scenes stuff about the BEST SHOW EVER!!!

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I also drooled over read The Minimalist Baker’s cookbook Everyday Cooking. I want to eat everything in this book, especially her recipe for Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Oat Bread. Yup. You read that right  😉

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What I am absolutely over: Choices for White House appointments/jobs who have absolutely no qualifications for said job, but get said job anyway. I can’t even…

On the healthy living front: I did really well exercising this month until the last week of March. Ugh, so annoying. But the good thing is, is that I recognize that it has been a week since I worked up a sweat and I am getting back into my routine. Older = wiser, right?  😉

On the minimalism/decluttering front: If you remember, I mentioned that for the month of March I was going to declutter 3 separate areas of my home: the kitchen, electronic stuff (my computer), and the bathroom. Suffice to say, I accomplished my tasks! Guys, I actually have ONE EMPTY DRAWER in my kitchen!!!! *cue squealing* I love that one empty drawer. I refuse to let anything get in its recesses again!

I also unsubscribed from emails that I no longer want to receive, and blogs that I no longer want to read. Mission accomplished.

And as for the bathroom, icky nail polish, expired medication, and make-up that has probably seen better days, has all gone in the rubbish bin.

All in all, March was a very productive month and I am looking forward to getting some more things accomplished. I’ve got momentum, y’all!!!

By the way, all my pictures in this post are from my Instagram account. Come say hi!  🙂

How was the month of March for you? Did you get in any decluttering?

Living a Life That Is True To You

Along with several other words in today’s lexicon, the word “values” has sprung up in more conversations and blog posts over the past few months. “What are my values?” and “What do I value in life?” seem to be the springboards onto which fraught conversations are run.

Value can be what you esteem to be worth relative merit or importance; what you consider to be essential or important. What you won’t back down on.

But are you backing down? Are your values taking a back seat to the monotony of life or the frenzied clamor of life and its draining entities?

Are you living a life that is true to you?

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“I’ve started asking myself: What type of person do I want to be? How do I express my interests and values? Am I living a life that’s true to myself and not the life others expect of me? By spending more time dreaming about what I want for the future, I’ve started to form a better idea of who I want to be and where I want to go”. -Sarah Moss

I am utterly enamored of this quotation by Sarah Moss because it causes one to step back from the hustle and bustle of daily life and really examine what is adding value to our lives and what is not. It causes one to think about the things that they are doing and wondering introspectively if these things are being done for someone else because it is what is expected or are they being done because we want them to be?

You are never too old to re-imagine the direction of your life and decide that things aren’t going quite the way you expected. It is also okay to feel a certain way about things and not feel guilty about them.

For example, I value my time with my daughter as sacred. If something is going to impinge on that time with her, I say no to other requests of my time. My child is only young once; there will be a point where as she gets older, Mom is no longer “cool” and friends will become her end-all, be-all. Children grow so fast; before you know it, they are out of the house and on their way to college. So for me, my daughter and our quality time come first. I place a high value on that.

While not related per se, minimalism helps me in this capacity. If I had to spend my time constantly arranging, organizing, and taking care of all of our things, I would have less time to spend with my daughter. Instead of snuggling together and watching a Charlie Brown cartoon, or baking cookies together, I would be cleaning, organizing, and taking care of our stuff.

And that is just not okay with me.

My life is a simple one, because I have made it so. That is not to say that I don’t experience heartache or have difficulties that I continue to overcome, it means that I choose a simple life because it aligns with my values. I strive for a minimalist lifestyle because spending time with loved ones is important to me and spending time taking care of stuff, is not. A simpler life helps keep me on my way to having more fullness in my life.

I still have dreams that I can’t wait to bring to fruition. Approaching a new decade in my life has brought home to me so many things, and I still continue to learn and grow and remind myself to stay true to the essence of who I am.

Are you living a life that is true to you?

10 Random Facts Tag

This post originated, as least for me, with Reynolds Made and her post. Go check out hers!

So here are some random facts about the blogger behind Organic Butterfly, also known as yours truly  🙂

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1) I hated my name when I was a child. When we were in school and learning to write our names, everyone else with shorter names were always finished first (the Ann’s and Sara’s, I am looking at you) and here I am still on the letter “z”. And also, you want to fit in when you are younger and it was just super annoying to have my name. But now, I love my name!! ♥

2) I saw Aerosmith in concert when I was 17, which was a million years ago it seems like. It still holds up as one of the best concerts I have ever seen in my life. Seeing “Dream On” performed live, right in front of your eyes, is seriously something I will never forget.

3) I didn’t learn to swim until I was 11 years old. Why so long of a wait, I have no idea. I probably saw the movie Jaws one too many times, lol  🙂 But once I learned how to swim, you couldn’t keep me out of the water!!!

4) I worked in a home improvement store throughout college. To this day, whenever I have to go to one of those stores, I still feel like someone will ask me what aisle plumbing fixtures are on.

5) Still to this day, I love Nancy Drew books. They remind me of being a kid during summer vacations, and if I wasn’t outside playing till the sun went down, I was reading Nancy Drew.

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6) I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications but if I could go back and do it all over again, I would have majored in either English or History. Those two subjects are still to this day, my favorite reading topics and to be honest, jobs I have had haven’t cared what my degree was in; they just wanted a college graduate, so there’s that…

7) I have 3 tattoos. And I want more  🙂

8) I drink coffee like nobody’s business, but I also am a huge tea drinker. Everyday, people. Every. Day.

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9) Santa Barbara, California is one of my favorite places. It is so beautiful  🙂

10) I can make a meal out of chips and salsa. Hey, if there’s guacamole, that’s just added protein  🙂

So there you have it. Random tidbits about your truly. Let me know some fun things about you!