Justifications Concerning Money

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My lovely friend Tanya is celebrating a birthday this week and had a post about reflections on life and what she has learned now that she is a year older. One of the reflections she noted, I absolutely loved and want to talk about in more detail.

This is what she said:

“I like shoes. I like purses. I like clothes. I like spas. This does not make me a bad person or a frivolous spender. It means I know where I like to spend my discretionary money, which does not need your approval”.

Boom.

This particular reflection of Tanya’s really stood out to me because I feel as women, we constantly feel the need to justify our lives and what we do with them. We are constantly having to defend our decisions and why we made them.

For example, decisions that always need explanations even though they are nobody’s business:

  • Having children. “Why don’t you have kids? Don’t you want them?”
  • Marriage. “Why aren’t you married? Don’t you want to settle down with someone?”
  • Childrearing: “If I were you, I would stay home with my children. I wouldn’t be working”.
  • Money: “Why do you spend your money on things like that?”

Women get asked these questions and so much more and we end up on the defensive, trying to articulate why we made our particular decision.

The money angle though, is what I want to focus on because I feel like in the blogosphere, this is a hot topic.

Personal finance blogs talk constantly about saving your money, being frugal, and don’t frivolously spend. “Stay home and cook dinner! Don’t eat out…ever!” “Don’t turn on the heater in the winter! Wear four sweaters at a time and cuddle under a blanket! If your fingers go numb, just sit on them! They’ll warm up in a minute!”

I jest, but you get the picture. Finances are important. Paying down debt is important. Having a savings account is important.

But so is having a life.

We are actually meant to live our lives and not sacrifice small moments of happiness in the name of frugality. I don’t mean go and spend all the money, but if fresh flowers on your kitchen table make you happy, that is OKAY. You don’t need to justify that $3.99 bouquet of flowers you picked up at Trader Joe’s.

When it comes to the topic of Minimalism, people operate under the assumption that stark white walls are the way to go. No couch, just a cushion to sit on. No art on the walls. No pets, because that is not very minimalist of you!

That is all nonsense.

You can call yourself a minimalist and still enjoy paintings by local artists on your walls. It is okay that you own a pet and gasp! they require dishes and food and other accoutrements. It is okay if you like colors and your wardrobe isn’t all monochrome.

My point is, we are wired as human beings to enjoy life and you don’t have to justify how you spend your money. You like shoes, fine. You like taking a ballroom dance class twice a week, fine. You like channeling your inner Julia Child and like to bake up tasty treats on the weekend, fine.

It is all okay.

Don’t let anyone ever make you feel guilty for the choices you make in life. No more justifying.

No more defending.

10 Random Facts Tag

This post originated, as least for me, with Reynolds Made and her post. Go check out hers!

So here are some random facts about the blogger behind Organic Butterfly, also known as yours truly  🙂

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1) I hated my name when I was a child. When we were in school and learning to write our names, everyone else with shorter names were always finished first (the Ann’s and Sara’s, I am looking at you) and here I am still on the letter “z”. And also, you want to fit in when you are younger and it was just super annoying to have my name. But now, I love my name!! ♥

2) I saw Aerosmith in concert when I was 17, which was a million years ago it seems like. It still holds up as one of the best concerts I have ever seen in my life. Seeing “Dream On” performed live, right in front of your eyes, is seriously something I will never forget.

3) I didn’t learn to swim until I was 11 years old. Why so long of a wait, I have no idea. I probably saw the movie Jaws one too many times, lol  🙂 But once I learned how to swim, you couldn’t keep me out of the water!!!

4) I worked in a home improvement store throughout college. To this day, whenever I have to go to one of those stores, I still feel like someone will ask me what aisle plumbing fixtures are on.

5) Still to this day, I love Nancy Drew books. They remind me of being a kid during summer vacations, and if I wasn’t outside playing till the sun went down, I was reading Nancy Drew.

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6) I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications but if I could go back and do it all over again, I would have majored in either English or History. Those two subjects are still to this day, my favorite reading topics and to be honest, jobs I have had haven’t cared what my degree was in; they just wanted a college graduate, so there’s that…

7) I have 3 tattoos. And I want more  🙂

8) I drink coffee like nobody’s business, but I also am a huge tea drinker. Everyday, people. Every. Day.

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9) Santa Barbara, California is one of my favorite places. It is so beautiful  🙂

10) I can make a meal out of chips and salsa. Hey, if there’s guacamole, that’s just added protein  🙂

So there you have it. Random tidbits about your truly. Let me know some fun things about you!

October in the Rearview

Ah November, so glad to see you 🙂 October was a busy month and I am glad we are onto a new set of 30 days.

October was busy with school stuff for my daughter, my husband’s birthday, my mother-in-law coming in from out-of-town to visit, and just general busyness!! I know it is only going to get more hectic as the holiday season approaches, but that’s okay. Christmas music makes any errand or chore, that much more bearable   🙂

What I enjoyed this month: Football and hockey games on my tv! Woo hoo! Also, I have eaten an inordinate amount of homemade nachos this month. While they were good, I think I have eaten more tortilla chips in the month of October than I have the entire previous nine months of the year. I need to stem the tide people. I need to stem the tide.

What I am absolutely over: PUMPKIN ANYTHING! I am on a serious pumpkin overload. Really. I can’t take another picture of pumpkins, pumpkin drinks, especially pumpkin foods. When did everything suddenly have pumpkin in it??? I saw a recipe for pumpkin hummus the other day and I almost gagged. Garbanzo beans and pumpkin mixed together does not sound appetizing. In fact it sounds like this:

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I am over pumpkins and I hope by the time Thanksgiving rolls around, I will be able to eat pumpkin pie, let alone make it. Right now, apple pie is sounding like a better option.

(By the way, isn’t the above picture awesome? I snapped that photo while out trick-or-treating with my daughter)

Blog Posts I Loved:

In Case You Missed It, Posts I Wrote in October:

How was everyone’s October? Did you watch “It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown“, like we did?  🙂

September in the Rearview

Wow, so we are already into October! September really flew by in a rush didn’t it? I mean, here we are, only a few weeks until Halloween and then the holiday season will be in a full panic rush 🙂

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September in the Rearview:

This was a good month 🙂 I made pumpkin muffins with my daughter and we’ve been having fun watching old Wonder Woman episodes from the 1970’s. I totally wanted to be Wonder Woman when I was a kid and it is so funny to now be watching these episodes with my kiddo.

I read a lot of blog posts in September, definitely more than I read in August. Probably because I have a bit more time in the mornings now that my daughter is back in school. Some posts I really loved were:

27 Ways to Save Money Right Now by The Frugal Farmer

How I Solved My Two Biggest Money Mistakes by A Mindful Migration

Diamonds Are Not This Girl’s Best Friend by Courtney Carver

Are You Taking the First False Step? by Break The Twitch

Quitting the Sidehustle For Good by Our Next Life

I wish I could say that September brought with it cooler temperatures but that would not be a true statement. Unfortunately Southern California has not gotten the memo that it is officially fall and that it needs to stop with all this burning hot nonsense. Seriously, does Mother Nature understand how hard it is to enjoy my pumpkin coffee when I am wearing shorts and a tank top? 😉

In Case You Missed It:

I wrote two posts in September. I hope to write more often going forward, but I seem to get easily distracted these days. Probably all that pumpkin coffee… 🙂

Gratitude

When The Media Bums You Out

I am looking forward to this fun month of October! It is my husband’s birthday this month and Halloween is coming! Also HOCKEY IS BACK!!! And my favorite show ELEMENTARY! All the caps and all the exclamation marks!!!! So excited! #sorrynotsorry

How was your September?